My Telenovela Moment

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Growing up I use to watch telenovelas with my grandmother. There were always the overly dramatic scenes of the women crying with dark mascara running down their face and they would look straight into the camera for effect and shake their hands in the air screaming “Porque? Porque?” All in response to being wronged by a relationship. It was difficult to change the channel or wait for the next day to see how the story would unfold. At the end of the drama there was always a happy resolution scene where now mascara stained tears of joy were shed. A drama queen’s redemptive moment.

Now here I am having learned from the best Latin American actresses starring in my own melodramatic scenes. Yes I am a drama queen. Recently I had my feelings hurt by an individual whom I considered a friend. There I was in my closet with tears asking those same questions as I shook my fist in the air…”Why? Why?” What could I possibly have done to deserve that treatment? How could they do that to me after everything I’ve done? It was a Telemundo quality pity party.

You’ve been there, when you get your feelings hurt and you start remembering all you’ve done, given and said to whomever wronged you. Your memories of a beautiful friendship get quickly replaced by ideas of revenge. Or is that just me?

So in the middle of my one woman show I felt a stirring in my spirit and this question came to my mind…”If you knew ahead of time that this relationship would end badly would you still have blessed this person?”

What? Are you kidding me God? I’m the good one! What about them? Look at what they did! That’s not a fair question! God changed the focus from what I perceived was the issue-ingratitude-to exploring the condition of my heart when I give. Would I still have blessed this person?

I pondered that question for awhile. Would I still have poured my love, gifts and time on that person knowing that I would be betrayed at the end? Did I give to fill a need or did I expect something in return? Was I giving from the abundance of my heart or merely trying to secure gratitude? Would I hold back if I knew the end?

“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give. Not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 6-7

So if my answer was “no” than I didn’t give for the right reason. I would’ve expected something in return. I would’ve expected to be treated fairly and been shown gratitude. It is with these failed expectations that hurt, anger and bitterness begin.

“But just as you excel in everything-in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us-see that you excel in this grace of giving.” 2 Corinthians8:7

If my answer was “yes” than I had excelled in giving and shouldn’t be so distraught over the end of the relationship. A selfless giver will be less likely to stay offended or hurt. When done in the right spirit the desire to continue to bless those who persecute us remains.

I began not only to think about this person but also others from the past. I stopped the rewind button of what I did for them and paused to think of the “why”. Unconditional love always gives and never expects in return. It’s difficult in the flesh to love this way. After realizing that my answer was “yes” I started to feel peace and the animosity started to fade. I can honestly say I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

My Emmy worthy cries for justice turned into an apology to my Heavenly Father and I began praying for the friend and our broken relationship. In a telenovela this scene might have ended in a restored relationship with tears of gratitude and forgiveness. Life doesn’t follow a script. What did happen after reflecting was a peace “that surpassed all understanding”.

As to the question of fairness God has set the standard.

“For God so loved the world that he GAVE his one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

God knew ahead of time that we would sin and be ungrateful at times despite His gift-Calvary. Yet He doesn’t hold back and he loves us unconditionally. God said “”yes”’ to that question.

Thanksgiving is fast approaching and now would be a good time to give thanks for the opportunities to give and to show mercy and unwavering love to others as it has been shown to you.

As for me, the next time I’m about to produce an award winning telenovela pity party I will simply change the channel and wear waterproof mascara!