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I DARE YOU…

A couple issues back I wrote an article on confession.  After it was published someone came up to me and said, “Nice article, Nick.”  No conversation followed their comment, but rather a sudden change of subject.  It left me wondering why? It got me thinking more about the topic of confession, so much so that I wanted to write another article.

I know confession is uncomfortable, and actually doing it is on another level entirely.  But why?  Why is it so strange?  So frightening?  Repulsive even?

1. Betrayal

One reason could be that you’re afraid of being or have been betrayed.  The idea of people using your sins against you to gossip about and slander you is terrifying and angering. If you’re afraid of this happening then you’ll never take the risk.  If it has happened to you then you’ll do everything to prevent it from happening again.

1. Condemnation

Similarly, you might be afraid of being or have been condemned by someone for your sin.  When you confessed they looked at you with self-righteous, holier-than-thou eyes and spoke words of guilt and shame with no heir of compassion or forgiveness and without any intention to help you turn from your sin.  The word “loving” is far from your mind when describing how they treated you.

1. Model

A different reason could be that no one has really modeled confession for you.  Since no one has confessed their sin to you before, you don’t really know what it’s supposed to look like.  It’s unfortunately true that confession of sin in our churches has become rare if not non-existent.  There are more and more church pastors and leaders that hide their sin because we’ve created a church culture at large that doesn’t foster space where they are free to show their human weakness, while still being shown grace and also held accountable to change.  And this goes for the average church member as well.  This leaves a large gap of discipleship in one of the most basic areas of our spiritual life…confession.

1. Not That Bad

The last reason I could think of is one of the hardest to swallow, but is the closest to home for me in my heart.  We don’t confess because we really don’t think we’re that bad.  And because we believe that we’re not that bad we don’t think we really have that much to confess.  This line of thinking is actually extremely dangerous for our spiritual lives, because the smaller our view of our own sin the less need we have of a Savior to save us from the judgment and power of that sin.  In short, we’ll deceive ourselves into thinking that we need Jesus less.  We’ll become less dependent on him day to day, and our sin will suffocate us.  This was/is me.  People like us often think our sin is merely our actions.  It’s what we do or don’t do.  But our sin is so much more.  It’s our thoughts.  Our words.  Our motivations.  The inclinations of our hearts.  Try to pay attention to those for a solid week and not only will you see the depth of your sin, but also your need for a Savior and a close friend to bear your soul will become ever so valuable.

So, Nick, where do we go from here?

Let me say this.  No matter your fears of confession or your hurts and anger from previous experiences, you still need to confess; we all do.  Even if it hasn’t been modeled for you, you still need to confess; we all do.  And especially if you think you’re not that bad, like me, you definitely need to confess.  Again, we all do!  Not just because the Bible tells us to, although that would be reason enough, but because it is only through confession to God AND another human being that we’re able to experience grace, forgiveness, freedom, joy, and true life the way God intended.  Don’t believe me?  Try it.  Trust Jesus with your fears and pain and step out of the boat.  I dare you.

If you have questions or want to discuss this article further please contact Nick at dombrowski.n@gmail.com.