HE SAVED ME

Articles

1

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to become a physician. The idea of saving lives and nurturing others appealed to me. The path to becoming a physician was long-11 years (undergraduate, medical school & residency). I never had a Plan B regarding my goals because I believed that I was controlling my destiny. The sacrifices, money and time were worthwhile to me. I wanted to be part of something bigger than myself and to serve God through Family Medicine.

When I graduated from medical school we had to recite Hippocrates’ Oath as part of the ceremony. It states and we promise to above all things do no harm and save lives to the best of our abilities.  As physicians we are to be humble enough to ask for help from colleagues and to provide confidentiality regarding all care. We had been taught the essentials of diagnosis, treatments and medical ethics.

Proverbs 17:22 is my favorite scripture regarding how I approach my patients….

“a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones”.

My patients will be the first to tell you that I push them to lead healthier lives. At times I will scold my wonderful patients because of noncompliance to treatments and my recommendations. They know that I hold them accountable. I do so because I care and try to do it with respect and a smile.

God has made medicine my calling. Knowing that one day I will be held accountable to Him for all my actions, decisions and words spoken makes me more aggressive when concerning my patient’s physical, emotional and at times spiritual care. It’s a blessing to me that I have been given this opportunity by God to touch and change lives.

I recently took care of a patient that was very challenging. Mr. Henry ran a local food bank and was very active in helping the underserved areas of our community. He always had a smile and kind words for my staff. He would remind me that he was doing Gods work whenever I insisted on him being compliant with visits. This visit was no different.

It had been a year since I had seen Mr. Henry in my office. I asked him to come to my clinic to discuss recent labs and concerns that his family had brought to my attention. He was very hesitant and told me he was a very busy man and that he felt great. Nonetheless I persisted and made him come see me.

I had become increasingly worried about certain health issues and tried to explain that it was a matter of life and death. I told him what I tell all my patients-“if I didn’t care I wouldn’t bother to scold you.”  I was trying to “save his life”. The response I received was not what I expected and it challenged me as a Christian.

“Doc I appreciate your efforts but I am not afraid to die. When God wants to take me home there is no miracle, test or medication that will keep me alive. God is in control and he knows when my last day on earth will be.  I have lived in abundance and at times with little, but God has always provided. As Christians we know death is not the end and our hearts long for home because our lives have been saved through our faith. God has blessed me with a wonderful family and I have had a good life. I will try to do as you ask but will not stop living and working waiting for diagnosis or treatment. God is the ultimate healer.”

Psalm 139:16

You saw me before I was born. Everyday of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day passed.

He spoke words of encouragement and blessings over my life and expressed his gratitude for all that I had done. As I thanked him for his kind words I reminded him that God had called me to serve and re-stressed the importance of taking care of His temple. I presented again my concerns.  My medical knowledge and mind were taking priority over my spiritual knowledge.

He patiently listened to me and pointed to a scripture I have on my wall in this particular exam room….”be still and know that I am God.” As I stood there and listened I felt like this would be the last time I would talk with him. It felt like he was not only saying good-bye but that he was also at peace.

At the urging of his family he complied with all asked of him and his care was transferred to another facility for more advanced treatment. I felt relieved that Mr. Henry was on the road to recovery.

6 weeks later he passed away from medical complications during treatment. Treatments that were meant to extend his life. I can not explain the sadness and self-doubt I felt when I received the news. Had I failed him? Had I pushed too hard? Could I have done more? Why had he passed away when he was so close to getting healed? My mind was at war with my spirit.

We would all like to believe that we have control over our lives and destiny. As a physician, wife, & mother I am no different. Of course I can fix that problem! Take this medicine and you will feel better! I can become obsessed with trying to achieve good outcomes and at times it has affected my health when I don’t succeed. I need to feel in control.

When we realize that we’re not in control and you have done your best but the outcome is not as expected is when we have to be “still and listen”.  It’s humbling yet should also be comforting because God is so much better at handling any issue. Mr. Henry was right. I could only do so much because God had the final answer.

During that moment of self-doubt I felt the Holy Spirit reminding me of the last conversation that we had in my office. Salvation and healing is only guaranteed through Jesus Christ. Mr. Henry had received his healing despite dying in a hospital room. It was not through medical science that he was healed….it was through faith.

Mr. Henry used that day to prepare me for his death. I remembered the love and gratitude he expressed that day.  He spoke those blessings and words of encouragement because he probably sensed I would need them when he passed. He had been trying to give me peace. As much as I was trying to save his physical life, Mr. Henry was trying to save my spiritual life-he wanted me to relinquish control to GOD.

My medical training has led me to treat patients based on evidence and things that I can see. By definition faith is believing even when we don’t see. Mr. Henry saw what I couldn’t. To look back and know that I was being comforted by a man whom I perceived was dying is a testimony of God’s love and timing.

Eccleseiastes 3:1,2,4,14

1For everything there is a season,

  A time for every activity under heaven.

2A time to be born and a time to die

  A time to plant and a time to harvest.

4A time to cry and a time to laugh.

  A time to grieve and a time to dance.

14 And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added or taken from it.

I would like to sincerely thank the Enrique Uria Family for allowing me to share his story. His wife, children, their spouses and grandchildren were his greatest blessings. I am humbled and honored to have had the opportunity to care for such a special man.