BE AMAZING

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Have you ever considered that your thoughts could be hindering Gods plan for you?  All of my life I have fought a mental battle with myself. Negative thoughts and insecurity are born through fear.  It’s the first place my mind goes when confronted with an issue or challenge.  I’ve been told by many that I can be negative and self defeating but yet be so encouraging to others.

I ran in the NYC Marathon this year on November 3^rd. It had been a goal of mine and I was unable to do last year because of Hurricane Sandy.  So when the opportunity came up again I immediately signed up. I was coming off an injury this year and my marathon training was accelerated and in my mind insufficient. No matter how much reassurance my coach gave me my mind immediately went to failure-not being able to complete the run.  I went to New York City feeling insecure.

The night before the run I asked my son Diego to pray with me because I was feeling nervous.  His words have taken me on an unexpected journey of self discovery and I hope that they will do the same for you.

He said “Dear Lord let my mom be amazing tomorrow in the race because she is amazing”.

Amazing? Me? I am anything but amazing I said to myself.  I thanked my Diego for his words and I asked him why he thought I was amazing and he said very simply-“God made you that way”.

I can’t explain but I was overwhelmed with emotion because I had never really believed that to be true. My friends Victoria, Debra, Cathy, Mari & Trica- yes they are amazing.  My pastor Terry yes she is amazing.  Single moms I believe are amazing.  Everybody else is amazing and I believe this because just like Diego said “God made you that way”.  Why was I determined to believe that I was the exception?

So on my way to the race I turned my mental battle of self defeat into a quiet conversation with my Heavenly Father.  “Let me feel amazing Lord. Show me how I am amazing. This run is yours and only through You will I be able to finish it.” I requested not only physical strength but mental strength.

A marathon is more of a mental battle than a physical one.  You have to believe that you can finish even when your body is crying out for you to stop.

I had written on my shirt “Goddess”.  I thought it would be funny to hear spectators call out that name when I ran by.  It was meant as a joke-an irony.  As I began my race I focused on just running. I didn’t look at my watch or pay much attention to the music that was playing on my Ipod.  I began to think about Diego’s words and how God had made me amazing.

I am a good mother, wife and friend. I have a very unique medical practice and I’m running in my 40’s and completing every goal I set. I can encourage others toward Gods best. Not in my own strength but in His. I wanted to believe that I was amazing because God said I am “wonderfully made” and “in His image”.  To deny it would be to call God a liar and worse to disrespect His creation.

As the miles passed I heard “go goddess” and that was so inspiring and made me start to believe in myself that I could finish this race. The cheers of “awesome run goddess” made me run faster and stronger. What I had intended as a joke God made into a 26.2 mile faith and esteem builder.  When I thought I was tiring I repeated “in your strength not mine”.  By getting “still” in my mind God showed me what he could do if I could just believe that I was amazing through Him.

I took off 32 minutes from my previous marathon and I finished strong and the tears came immediately as I crossed the finish line-Tears of joy, gratitude and love for a Heavenly Father who shows up daily and wants to show me that I am special. It’s a gift that I need to stop rejecting. I asked for forgiveness for all the opportunities that had been presented to me that I rejected because of self doubt.

Have you ever thought that the negative thoughts that go through your mind- the ones that tell you that you’re not good enough-are opportunities not to sin and to instead stop the insecurity and immediately go to the word that says “my thoughts are higher”.

It doesn’t matter what words have been spoken over you. We’ve all been there but what are you going to believe? Whom are you going to give power to?

Your parents may not have made you feel loved and secure but God says “I will never leave you or forsake you”. Your spouse may not value you but the word says “there are many virtuous and capable women but you surpass them all”. Your children may not show you respect now but God promises “her children stand and bless her”.  You may feel inadequate or not good enough and live in fear but He says “she is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future.”  You might feel defeated by circumstances but God promises to give “beauty for ashes.”  You keep reliving mistakes and live in condemnation but God says “though your sins are like scarlet I will make you as white as snow”.  “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman that fears the Lord is to be praised” so stop obsessing about your weight or pant size and get into the word and look at what real beauty is about! Believe that you are amazing.

God made each one of us unique and with a predetermined destiny. He gives us the ability to succeed and to overcome.   If we gave as much time to His ways, His thoughts than we’d see that the negative thoughts are just a lie, a deterrent from Gods best and you have to make a choice to either sin by living in self defeat or to live a life that He has already chosen to abundantly bless.

I pray for you friends that thisChristmas as we celebrate the gift of Jesus Christ that you are reminded that through this miracle of His birth and acceptance as our Lord and Savior that He lives in you. If He is in you than how can you believe anything else except -You are Amazing! You are Amazing! You are Amazing!

To my son Diego

I must be amazing because He gave you to me and you never cease to surprise and inspire me with your wisdom of the word. Our family is blessed because of your sweet nature and unconditional love. You remind us to believe in ourselves. Thank you Diego for giving me confidence which is what I hope to give back to you daily. Thank you for the gift of self discovery and appreciation for what God does through me. You are an amazing kid.